Thursday, June 4, 2009

A PP'sPs about Complications

I thought I would elaborate on my new relationship with Kristen.

More specifically, I thought I would share how we ended up together, complete with the many complications we have and continue to muddle through.

The first and least influential complication is the age difference between us. I will be 35 in July (Dang, that sounds old!) while Kristen just turned 28 last week. Not a huge gap, especially when you consider that my maturity level is far lower than my 35 years would indicate! It was a factor for her early, but she seems to have realized that I'm still less mature than she is.

A second complication is the fact that Kristen is the little sister of one of my closest friends, Brian Lucas, or as many know him, Chico. For her especially, dating her brother's close friend was incredibly weird. For me, I was just worried about how it would affect my relationship with Brian. Would he really trust me with his baby sister? Would things be weird between us? So far, so good.

As you would guess, if Kristen is Brian's sister, then it would follow that I have known Kristen for awhile. In fact, Kristen and I have known each other for over ten years. I even taught her Sunday School class while she was in college at Asbury. In fact, she sat next to Christy for much of that class. The two were close friends. Kristen is close with Christy's family. Very weird! But, also very special because I haven't had to introduce an entire stranger into my family relationship with Chris, Julie, and Kyle. They already know and love Kristen and have fully embraced our new relationship, as difficult as it will be at times. For that I am eternally grateful.

The complication that worried me most going into the relationship was the most embarrassing for me. You see, before Christy and I began dating, I had a fairly substantial crush on Chico's baby sister. I liked Kristen eight years ago! And now, here I am again falling for the same girl. My biggest fear was that someone who knew my previous feelings for Kristen would assume that, because I had feelings for her now, I had never stopped liking her. Nothing could be further from the truth. But the thought that someone might think it for even a minute was almost enough to keep me from ever pursuing a relationship with Kristen. Thankfully, no one has voiced that concern and have immediately dismissed it when I have mentioned it. Again, I am grateful.

Knowing all of these complications and weighing them against my feelings, I finally got up the nerve on April 5th to call Kristen and share my thoughts and feelings. Her response was priceless: "I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! (long pause) Josh, this is complicated!" To which I responded, "You have no idea!" We talked for a few hours that first night about the afore mentioned complications as well as our individual feelings for each other and where we should go from there. She agreed to let me take her to a baseball game for our first date, and as they say, the rest is history!

We've had MANY long conversations about the complications and issues that our relationship inherently has. I haven't even mentioned the issues that Kristen has had to deal with in dating a widower AND a pastor! I told her she should have run away that first night! However, she has been amazing as she has considered these and other issues with wisdom and humility. Much to my amazement, shock, and joy, she has come through the other side of all this with a strong, genuine love for me that I feared she would never have. Our relationship couldn't be going any better! I am blessed beyond measure!

Once again, I must thank everyone for your prayers and support over the past 8 months. I am eternally in your debt.

Content inspite of the Complications,


1 comment:

Julie said...


I say this to your readers mostly, because I know that you already know all of this. On Oct 11, 2008 I lost one of the most important people in my life. She was perfect to me in every way. Though I would have done anything to take away her pain, I wouldn’t have changed one thing about her. My love for her is true and complete. Isn’t it funny, a parent is supposed to teach their child but in the end I learned far more from her than she could have ever learned from me. I miss her more than anyone can ever know. I do not take in or let out one breath without wishing that I could give them to her. But that was not Gods plan for Christy. As much as her absence causes us pain, her life was His perfection and we must not question that. I say these words not because of any strength in me, but because of the strength that she showed every single day of her life. Christy loved you with every piece of her heart and soul, please never forget that. So, to you and Kristen I offer up my sincere hope for a bright and happy future. I know that just as God picked out Christy just for you, He has now picked out Kristen. I’m so happy for both of you. I pray God’s rich blessings on your life together.

I love you, Josh!

Momma J