Monday, February 9, 2009

A PP'sPs about Erectile Dysfunction

A very strange thing happened to me today:

I quit golf!

It's not permanent, but I quit golf today!

After having lunch with a colleague, I went to a nearby golf course to play 18 holes. My first drive was a great shot in the fairway. Then, because I had driven my cart 5 yards into the rough, a jerk from back at the tee screamed at me to get my cart off the grass and back on the path. I hadn't even realized that it was "cartpath only". So now I'm hacked off. My next shot, after waiting for the foursome in front of me to clear the green, was awful! The next shot was equally awful! For the next 3 holes, I have to wait forever to hit each successive awful shot because the group in front won't let me play through, further hacking me off. Finally, they let me play through, just to get caught behind another slow group that won't let me play through. After 3 awful shots on that hole, I put my 6 iron back in my bag, got in my cart, and drove to the clubhouse.

I only played 5 holes! And I gave up! On golf! I couldn't perform! It was golf's version of erectile dysfunction. The guy at the clubhouse even offered to let me start again on the 10th hole, but I just didn't have it in me. Golf! Not in me! The world is coming to an end!

I honestly have no explanation for this inexplicable event. I wish I did. I pray that it never happens again. If it does, go ahead and prepare to visit me in a padded room!

Unable to perform,



Julie said...

This was pretty funny. But I'm not sure it's politically correct to make fun of men with erectile dysfunction.

Josh Hildebrand said...

I'm glad it brought you humor. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing funny about GED (Golf Erectile Dysfunction). 73% of men have dealt with this silent assassin. I hope this sobering statistic sobers you. :)

Anonymous said...

It's okay, it happens to everybody!



Anonymous said...

83% of all percentages are made up on the spot.